Day Three – Dead yet?

I wake up pretty startled and confused. I mean, it’s not often that you wake up on your back in a parking lot, and even less often that it doesn’t involve some sort of substance abuse. Plus, I’ve only been out for about two hours. I’m feeling surprisingly well, both physically and mentally, after two days that I’m sure rival the abuse dished out by military basic training. And I’m doing this for fun. (full disclosure, I debated for about ten minutes whether to end the previous sentence with a period or a question mark)

Here’s a shot of my view from the parking lot.

I should have gotten someone to take a pic of me sleeping next to the bike, but I really wasn’t too keen on anyone else seeing me like that. Plus the odor factor was really starting to “kick up a notch” BAM!

Since I didn’t actually get to the Southernmost point of Key West last night, I need to go back (20 miles) and make sure I get a picture of it.

I got a photo of it here:

And then I find a nice lady who can take a photo of me with the monument. Here is her photo:

Nice, huh? Apparently the instructions “just press the silver button right HERE” are too difficult. Why do people freak out when you hand them a DLSR? Maybe it's time for a P&S... Another lesson learned, never say “ah, no, I’m sure it’s fine” when they ask if you want to check the picture before they give the camera back. Always check the picture!

Ok, today I’m determined to just get off these damned Keys and into a hotel. Not so much concerned about mileage today, because I know that if I don’t get some good sleep tonight the rest of the trip is going to be crap.

I get off the Keys without incident, and start heading over to the West (Gulf) Coast. As I head through central Florida, I pass through the Everglades. It really is pretty awesome, I want to come back sometime with a group and take an air boat ride or something.

No incident, but it is HOT and HUMID. Everyone out on the road looks like they’re dying, but I’m doing ok despite the fact that I’m covered head to toe in riding gear. I credit my Texas upbringing, hearty genes from my parents, and my CamelBak.

Jackpot! Got a hotel in Naples, FL with wifi and close to the beach on the first try! First stop, wash some funk off in the ocean. I am sorry, Mother Nature, but I may have contributed to a red tide or something today.

You know it’s bad when you smell better after swimming in the ocean than before.

Rest of the night – food, beer, bike checkup, repacking, blog, and sleep, all with A/C!

Elapsed miles – 1,922

Fun fact: Naples is full of old people. I sat next to a guy at the bar in Friday’s who initiated the most sexually explicit conversation I’ve ever had with anyone over the age of 30, perhaps anyone period. If you have children present, you may ask them to leave:

• This TGIF has the only bathroom in Naples that he hasn’t “done it in” yet. Although once he got close to it on the barstool which was on the other side of me. (Apparently, while Dairy Queens are the same in TX and FL, TGIFs are completely different)
• Also, he described a particular woman’s rear end as being so great that “you’d eat a mile of sh—, with corn in it, just to see where it came from.” I had to write it down to make sure I got it right.

Yeah, and I was trying to eat. But mostly I had trouble eating because I was cracking up at this old guy. Someone come and find me in 35 years and make sure I did not turn in to him.