Glacier II

I got up and out of camp early so I could make it down to town to call the motorcycle store in PA to have them ship my part. I got that accomplished with so little ease it almost scared me.

While in town I picked up some groceries and headed back to Glacier National Park. The motorcycle place thought it would be better to ship to a US address, so I’m stuck in Glacier for today.

Since I got back to the park pretty early I decided to get one of the more primitive and remote camp sites. At the last one I was surrounded by RV’s, people on bicycles, and ladies in walkers “hiking” on the boardwalk. Not exactly the wilderness.

I picked the most remote one I could find on the map and set out over 30 miles of unpaved road. It was slow, difficult, dusty, rough, and great. I was shocked at how fast I became comfortable on the rough road, and it really gave me some confidence for the upcoming Dalton Highway in Alaska.

Surprisingly, the camp was pretty full, but I got one of the few remaining sites, right next to the bubbling stream.

 

This is the view of the lake about 50 feet from my tent.

This camp site was definitely a great idea. A group of people who were packing up to leave gave me their extra firewood too. Alright!

Well now that I was in this great remote place, I decided to take an afternoon hike. I walked about 6 miles on the perimeter of the lake and it was gorgeous.

I found a Tree Star (you know, from The Land Before Time)

The most perfect hollow log I’ve ever seen.

A tree that got attacked by a vampire, I mean wood-pecker.

And a tree that seems to have exploded from the inside.

Also a good selection of critters.

There are a lot of people with kayaks and canoes here, and no motors of any kind are allowed on the boats.

I found a little beach area and took a swim. This time I had my camera, so here’s a great swimming picture.

The water was COLD! But perfect for icing down the beer I bought in town.

I made friends with the camping neighbors and we shared a fire and some s’mores. Good night.

Glacier National Park

Ok, so I got to Glacier National Park as early as I could, because I’ve noticed that campsites are pretty hard to get around here. Especially since it’s still a weekend (Sunday). I luckily got a camp site, there were only a few left.

As soon as I got my tent set up, I went to go see the sights of Glacier. It was very nice to actually be looking around a park during the day, rather than the middle of the night as seems to be my habit lately.

If you are ever in Glacier (you need to come to Glacier) you of course must drive the “Going to the Sun Highway”. I’m not so sure about the “Highway” part, but the road and view is gorgeous.

Allow time for stupid minivans, especially on the weekends, but it is still worth it.

I happened across the Continental Divide once more.

And also saw some rams and mountain goats. The larger mountain goat was attacking the rams to keep the smaller mountain goat safe. Of course it didn’t care at all about the 100 people and cars watching, but it really didn’t like that ram.

The “Glacier” part of Glacier National Park isn’t as impressive as I thought it’d be, especially after seeing the Glacier Bay on my last trip to Alaska. They have receded to approx 25% of what they were in 1850. Experts predict that the glacier will be completely gone in 2020.

On the way back to the camp site, I happened upon an awesome swimming hole. The water is soooo clear and clean you can hardly imagine it. There was a cliff diving area, and I even tried that. It was about 25-30’ high. I did not however, remember to bring my camera, and I’m quite pissed about that. Just imagine that I’ve inserted a photo below of me falling down a cliff face into a pool of ice cold water.

-Imaginary photo here-

When I got back to camp, I made dinner, and then for the first time on the trip, became bored. It was too late to go out and do anything else, and too early to go to bed. When you’re camping by yourself, especially with limited resources (no firewood, no book, no hammock) sometimes there just ain’t s---t to do.

Luckily my neighbors invited me over for a few beers, and asked about my trip. So that gave me plenty to do. They were a father-son team who were on their way to the back country for some back-packing action.

I hit the sack early, for some reason I was exhausted even though I slept in a hotel last night.

Meth

I saw this billboard on the side of the road in Montana today.

You can see more here. I’m pretty sure I saw the same or a similar one somewhere else (Colorado maybe?) so maybe other states have picked up the campaign. I must say, they have some good ones.

It has inspired me to make my own. I can’t wait to get back home to my photoshop.

Ok, that doesn’t have much to do with my trip, other than that I saw the billboard because of it. I just had to share because I thought it was awesome.

Missoula, MT

Ok, I can keep this one short and sweet.

I start the day heading out of Yellowstone, in the general direction of Glacier National Park.

As soon as I can get cell phone service, I contact the support crew and start looking for my new speedometer cable. I also got all the supplies I need to replace the crappy cigarette lighter.

Of course every dealer within 200 miles doesn’t stock the part. I’m not surprised, dealers hardly stock any parts at all. I hate motorcycles. By the grace of God, I find a dealer who actually wants to help, and locates the part in Pennsylvania. I call the dealer in PA and they are more than happy to over-night it to me. Of course by this time it’s closing time on the East Coast, and I don’t have an address yet. So I’ll have to wait till Monday to give them an address and I should have it on Tues afternoon.

Well, now that I’m gonna have to stay near civilization for the next few days, I decide to chill out in MT and get a hotel. I’ve had a frustrating few days, I still need to repair the bike, and I’m ready for a shower.

I don’t think the shower took. I still smell a faint hint of nastiness, but it’s definitely better. The hotel even had a laundry room!

The bike electrical stuff is all fixed and ready to go. I decided to actually fix it the right way this time. Good idea.

By this time it’s really late (there was a line for the laundry room) so I walk across the parking lot to the truck stop/casino/cafe. I have a “World Famous Huckleberry Shake” and a buffalo burger.

I got a lot of blogging done (as you can see).

Grand Teton and Yellowstone

Up early to get to Grand Teton! No problems, the miles fly by. I grab some picnic supplies in town to have lunch somewhere in the park.

The park is huge, awesome, and organized. I’ve never seen anything like it. The mountains are really something, the most intimidating, sharp, dangerous looking rocks I’ve seen.

After riding through most of the park, I eat lunch and move on to Yellowstone.

The traffic is pretty crazy, but since the park is so big, you can still get away from all the fuss.

Fast Fact:

There is a special force field at the entrance to every National Park which deactivates the turn signals of all mini vans. It’s true.

The park is full of wildlife…

(This was less than 15 feet from the road)

bubbling pools…

and geysers.

I’ve always known Yellowstone has these things, but its amazing just how… common they are in Yellowstone. I mean, you’re driving down the road and the ground just spits up steam along the side. It’s crazy. It doesn’t seem natural, more like something out of a sci-fi movie.

Another thing that you don’t appreciate is the sound. Each site has its own soundtrack, some powerful and some peaceful.

Definitely go check it out.

I hit the Continental Divide again, actually several times. Much like crossing from Wyoming to Utah, this road can’t make up its mind.

There were buffalo all over the place. After seeing them in action, I now have no respect for anyone who hunted them. Sure, they are big and can be dangerous, but they’re really dumb. Like ugly cows. If you are bragging about hunting buffalo, you may as well brag about hunting cow.

There was an entire herd of buffalo right next to the road. I am disappointed that more pics didn’t come out well. But I wasn’t about to stop either.

This cow, I mean buffalo, is getting in trouble with the law.

He really didn’t care that he was backing up traffic.

I had to rush through the park to get a camp site, it was Friday and filling up fast. I lucked out and got a good one, and then took off for the 80 mile round trip (this park is HUGE) to Old Faithful.

As I’m leaving the camp, I notice that my speedometer just stopped working. I easily find the problem, but it requires a part to be ordered of course. It doesn’t affect the drivability at all, but it is a huge pain. No speed indicator. Plus no odometer (they obviously run off the same sensor). Most bikes don’t have a gas gauge, so you have to use the trip odometer. Luckily I have my trusty GPS to keep track of miles and speed.

I made it there just before sunset, and of course, it wasn’t erupting. I didn’t feel like waiting the 90-120 minutes for it to erupt again, so I headed back to camp.

Except the bike blew a fuse again.

And the service station at the geyser closed 10 minutes ago.

This time, I really figure out the problem. and rip the cigarette lighter out. Literally. I throw it in the parking lot to die.

Finally I found someone who had a spare fuse (I had left all my tools and supplies back at camp). Unfortunately because of the delay, the road back was closed. Instead of a 40 mile drive back, it’s now an 80 mile drive.

Not a good day. It’s very late. I’m very cold, I was not expecting to be out this late, so most of my cold gear is back at camp.

Because I don’t have the right fuse in the bike, I’m afraid to use my high beams. I’m doing about 50mph when I notice a black object, with glowing eyes, and hooves… it’s a f---ing buffalo! And by the time I realize what it is, it’s literally 20 feet away. At 50mph. After some stumbling hooves and squealing tires we both manage to miss each other.

Don’t tell Laura. Or my Mom.

By the time I get back, my fingers are totally numb. It’s after midnight and I haven’t eaten. I fix a quick dinner and hit the sack.

An old trick I learned from Boy Scouts; when it’s cold, sleep with a ski mask. You could be warm and toasty in your sleeping bag, but your head is sticking out of it!

Fast Facts:

Odometer Reading: 8,458

Plus 110 miles after odometer stopped working…
Corrected Odometer:  8,568

Elapsed Miles: 4,922

Buffalo seen: 54

Miles driven in Yellowstone: at least 200

Interesting Question:

All day, heck, all week, I’ve seen groups of Harleys riding around. They ride in groups of 2-20, and they all have camping equipment strapped to them. But I’ve been camping pretty much every day, and I’ve never seen one in a camp site. Where do they camp??? I’m convinced that they live nearby and just carry their sleeping bags around to look hardcore.

Speaking of hardcore Harleys, a few days after this I was watching a Discovery Channel episode on motorcycles, and they covered the Sturgis rally. They interviewed a bunch of people that were like “we came all the way from Milwaukee” and the narrator was going on and on about how people drove hundreds of miles on motorcycles.

Pansies.

Arches

Up early so I can get back to Arches. It’s 20 miles away so I’m already behind, since I was hoping to wake up there. As I’m packing up my stuff, the Camp Nazi comes up to me and chews me out for coming in too late and leaving too early. He says my motorbike makes too much noise and that I came there just to wake people up. I tried to apologize, but as soon as I said the word “sorry” he snapped, “no you’re not!” Well. Not any more. Jerk. I almost delayed Arches another day so I could come back and wake him up the next night too.

But I had to get moving.

Arches was amazing. There are rocks. And arches. And I didn’t see the Roadrunner or Wile E. Coyote. But I did get to see this:

Cue “Lubbock in my rear view mirror”

Ok, that was way too many pictures, but it was pretty cool. I want to come back sometime when I have something I can take off road. They have some awesome looking back roads. Technically I was on the perfect bike for it, but loaded down with all my gear, and running behind schedule, I opted to stay on the pavement.

Now, off to Salt Lake City!

I came here just to get some pics of the Salt Lake LDS Temple. It’s kind of hard to photograph since it’s surrounded by tall buildings in downtown, but it is quite beautiful.

I tried to get it, but it is closed to visitors. I tried to talk my way in, but when I couldn’t do the secret handshake, they turned me down.

The size of the complex, the attention to detail, the obviously huge amounts of money and power, I haven’t seen anything like that since Catholicism in Europe.

Many of the other buildings in the complex are open, but I had gotten the photos I needed. Besides, I was starting to think I was in a department store – everyone was in a white shirt, tie, and nametag. It was eerie.

All in all I recommend it, the gardens are beautiful and the tour guides are friendly and knowledgeable.

Ok, enough of that, on to Grand Teton National Park!

Cross into Wyoming:

And back and forth between Utah and Wyoming like 8 times. What a stupid road.

And Idaho?

I didn’t even know I was going to be in Idaho. Am I on the right road?

Not 10 miles down the road, a fuse blows in the bike and I’m stranded on the side of the road. I think I find the problem, get a new fuse, and on the road again.

50 miles down the road, a fuse blows in the bike and I’m stranded at a gas station, that closed 5 minutes ago. Luckily I picked up some tools during my last breakdown, so I fix everything up nice and tidy. There should be no more wiring problems, everything is awesome.

15 miles down the road (in the middle of NOWHERE, and in the pitch black) the fuse blows again. Since it’s electrical, there are no headlights. I’m 13 miles from the nearest streetlight, it’s pitch black, and I’m doing 75mph. Not fun. But I safely stopped, replaced the fuse, and decided to stop using the suspect circuit.

The problem was with the cigarette lighter, I had plugged in an inverter so I could charge up the laptop (so I can write these genius updates for you all) and something with that was killing fuses left and right. Ok, no inverter and no laptop, I’ll just stick with the normal GPS charging. To top it off, when I unplugged the laptop, I found that the battery had disconnected, so it hadn’t even charged at all the entire time.

It’s been a long day.

With all the breakdowns, I’m still a few hours from Grand Teton. Add to that my frustration, the cold, and the fresh impression of the Camp Nazi, I decide to just stay at the first place I can find. Luckily, I happen upon another National Forest and find a camp ground.

Odometer Reading: 8218

Elapsed Miles: 4,572

Lessons Learned

People in Utah are ultra helpful. Which is great if you need help (broken down on the side of the road). But when you don’t need it, it can get a little annoying.

Cheap electronics should NEVER share a fuse with anything.

The “engineer” at Bell who “designed” the cigarette lighter I bought should be shot. Then fired. And I just happen to know an engineer that can take his place.

Trout fishing

After spending a night at the friends’ cabin, I got a tour of the mountain. There were hawks, chipmunks, ground squirrels, deer, and lots of lakes, streams and wildflowers. Gorgeous.

I heard someone mention that it was illegal to feed the wildlife, but they were just too @#$%ing cute! Only Kim Jong-il could say no to that face.

My dad and I went fishing. The pond is about 100 feet from the front door of the cabin, and is full of trout. It’s really not even fair, the trout practically line up to sacrifice themselves.

I got 5 in less than an hour, and most of that time was spent wrestling the fish off the hook or un-tangling fishing line.

I was able to meet my mom at the Grand Junction airport for a very brief hello before she headed up the mountain to the cabin, and I headed out of town to Arches National Park in Utah.

Cross the border.

Unfortunately, when I got to Arches at 10pm, it was totally full. I should have guessed, since it’s such a popular park, but I figured that a Wednesday night wouldn’t be such a problem. So instead I back tracked about 20 miles to Canyon Lands National Forest where I got some awesome star gazing done.

This one’s for you, Crystal. I thought it would turn out even better, but I think next time I get to try, it will.

For those of you who are like “WTF is that?” – This shows the horizon “in front” of you, stretches up over your head, all the way to the horizon “behind” you. Yes, it is the Milky Way.

Ok, this post may not have been humorously entertaining, but until the editors at Maxim buy the blog to run a story about how a real man vacations, you’ll just have to live with a reduced humor level. I have like 4 days of updates to write, so there’s not enough time to spice up everything.